1
00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:05,770
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
    U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,172
AND NICKELODEON

3
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:37,135
AH-HA HA HA HA!

4
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,247
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

5
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:51,950
...AND YOU, MARY,

6
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,819
RIGHT WHERE YOUR HEAD IS,

7
00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:57,755
BEFORE THE BIG BANG,
    THERE WAS<i> NOTHING</i> THERE!

8
00:00:57,824 --> 00:01:00,959
AND OUTSIDE, WHERE THAT
        SQUIRREL IS,

9
00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:03,528
THERE WAS<i> NOTHING!</i>

10
00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:09,667
AND UNDER YOUR CHAIRS...
        <i> NOTHING!</i>

11
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:13,238
AND BY THAT TREE,
    WHERE THAT DOG IS...

12
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:14,872
NOTHING.

13
00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:17,375
RRRGGGGHHH!...

14
00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:23,881
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

15
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:25,117
PHEW!

16
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:28,520
DON'T FORGET
        THAT TONIGHT IS
PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT.

17
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:32,557
EVERYONE IS REQUIRED
    TO BRING THEIR PARENTS
    TO THE CAFETERIA.

18
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:35,961
I NEVER AGREED
        TO ATTEND THIS
        PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT!

19
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:36,961
YES, YOU DID.

20
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:40,865
NO. YOU LIE!
                YOU LIIIIIIE!

21
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,200
[HUMPH!]

22
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,175
ZIM, ARE YOU GOING
TO BRING YOUR PARENTS

23
00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:52,210
TO PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT?

24
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,412
YEAH, SURE, WHATEVER.

25
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:58,283
WHY WOULD YOU
        TAPE THAT?

26
00:01:58,352 --> 00:01:59,851
PUTTING UP A LOT OF
            FIGHT FOR SOMETHING

27
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,319
AS SIMPLE AS
                PARENT/TEACHER
                NIGHT, ZIM.

28
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:04,923
I BET HE DOESN'T
                EVEN KNOW WHAT
                PARENTS ARE.

29
00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:07,158
OF COURSE, I DO.

30
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,338
WELCOME TO LIFE,
IRKEN CHILD.

31
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:22,841
REPORT FOR DUTY.

32
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:26,278
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
            I LOVE YOU,
            COLD, UNFEELING
            ROBOT ARM.

33
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:29,781
[MS. BITTERS GROWLS]

34
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,719
YOU WILL BE HERE
TONIGHT, ZIM.

35
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:37,255
YOU...AND
YOUR PARENTS!

36
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:43,795
YEAH--SEE YOU
<i> AND</i> YOUR PARENTS
 TONIGHT, ZIM.

37
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:48,734
YES! OH, I WILL BRING
        MY PARENTS

38
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:51,136
AND THEY SHALL BE
            THE GREATEST,

39
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:54,773
MOST PARENTAL
PARENTS EVERRRR!

40
00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:08,186
[DOORBELL RINGS]

41
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,067
WELCOME HOME, SON.

42
00:03:22,136 --> 00:03:25,170
UM--OH, IS THE UH--
        LADY OF THE HOUSE IN?

43
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,105
THAT'S ME!

44
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:29,541
I AM HOUSE LADY.
            BRUSH YOUR TEETH.

45
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,782
UH--HURUMPH--
            I'M SELLING MAKEUP

46
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:40,752
AND I JUST KNOW
            YOU'LL FIND
            SOMETHING GREAT--

47
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:43,021
I SAID
    BRUSH YOUR TEETH!

48
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:44,222
[MAKEUP LADY SHRIEKS]

49
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:49,594
I'LL SEE YOU
AND YOUR PARENTS
TONIGHT, ZIM.

50
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:52,330
BY THE WAY,
        IT'S NOT CALLED
        PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT...

51
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,965
IT'S CALLED
ZIM DOOM PARENT...

52
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:58,369
ZIM DOOM ZIMMY DOOM...

53
00:03:58,438 --> 00:03:59,771
NIGHT.

54
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,072
HEH HEH HEH HEH.

55
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:02,373
WATCH OUT
                FOR THAT PUPPY.

56
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:03,875
HUH?

57
00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:05,676
HAH!

58
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,880
AH! AH AH AH!

59
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,181
WAAAHHH!

60
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:13,785
WAIT! COME BACK!

61
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,355
I NEED STUFF!

62
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,861
WELCOME HOME, SON.

63
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:27,833
YOU WANT SOME DINNER,
SWEETHEART?

64
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,769
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

65
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,905
I ONLY HAVE TWO HOURS
        BEFORE THIS...

66
00:04:33,973 --> 00:04:35,673
PARENT/TEACHER THING.

67
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:38,543
THE PARENT DECOYS AREN'T READY
    FOR THAT KIND OF SERVICE.

68
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,579
THEIR INTERACTIVE SKILLS
        ARE TOO LIMITED.

69
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,347
UNLESS...

70
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:43,348
GIR!

71
00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:44,882
YES, SIR.

72
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,984
GIR, WE HAVE TO
PROGRAM THE PARENTS

73
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:48,320
TO LEARN HUMAN
            SOCIAL BEHAVIOR

74
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:49,421
IF THEY ARE
            TO JOIN ME FOR

75
00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:51,490
PARENT/TEACHER
            NIGHT.

76
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:53,391
YES, SIR.
RIGHT AWAY.

77
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,862
ON TV:
    FAILURE TO ROTATE STOCK
    DESTROYS MERCHANDISE...

78
00:04:57,931 --> 00:04:59,331
[VOICES FROM
    MANY CHANNELS ON TV]

79
00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:06,772
OOH! THIS IS
MY FAVORITE SHOW.

80
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,740
WAIT, THIS IS
            MY FAVORITE SHOW.

81
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,142
LOOK! IT'S
    MY FAVORITE SHOW.

82
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,282
AHHHH!

83
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:20,351
MY SPINE!

84
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:29,861
I LOVE THIS SHOW.

85
00:05:29,929 --> 00:05:34,199
NO, GIR, THE ROBOT PARENTS
MUST LEARN PROPER PARENTING

86
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:35,600
FROM THIS VIDEO PROGRAM.

87
00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:43,274
[GIR SNORES]

88
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,714
MAKE SURE THEY WATCH
THE ENTIRE VIDEO, GIR!

89
00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:51,650
THE FATE OF OUR MISSION
DEPENDS ON IT!

90
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:57,822
[ON SCREEN]
WE SURE ARE PROUD
OF OUR LITTLE BOY.

91
00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,392
WE SURE ARE.

92
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:08,366
ARE YOU PLAGUED
        BY GRASS STAINS?

93
00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:10,034
I LIKE BURRITOS,

94
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,903
BUT THEY SURE
DON'T LIKE ME.

95
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:15,906
WHO DOES YOUR HAIR?

96
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:17,743
WE RETURN TO OUR MOVIE
        IN PROGRESS,

97
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,744
POKE...[SCREAM] OF DOOM!

98
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:29,521
I LOVE THIS SHOW.

99
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,564
ARE YOU READY,
DEAR?

100
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,466
YES.

101
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,234
WELL THEN,
                WE OUGHT TO BE
                ON OUR WAY.

102
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:44,235
YES.

103
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:46,704
WE SURE ARE
PROUD OF YOU, SON.

104
00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:51,009
WE SURE ARRRRRE.

105
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,844
Gir:
            I LOVE THIS SHOW.

106
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:03,555
HEY, KIDS,
                YOUR DAD.

107
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:05,156
I NEVER KNEW HE WAS
            A FLOATING HEAD.

108
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:06,557
OH, HE'S NOT.

109
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:08,660
MY DAD'S JUST REALLY
BUSY AND HE COULDN'T
BE HERE IN PERSON.

110
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:11,196
HE'S TRANSMITTING
LIVE FROM HIS LAB
ACROSS TOWN.

111
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:13,164
HEY, MY DAD WAS
            LIKE THAT, TOO.

112
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,633
YOU KNOW,
            I UNDERSTAND.

113
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,401
IT'S NICE TO MEET
            YOU, PROFESSOR!

114
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:19,370
I'M MR. ELLIOT, HUH,
YOUR DAUGHTER GAZ'S
            TEACHER.

115
00:07:21,407 --> 00:07:23,007
I'M SORRY, BUT I'M
    VERY BUSY RIGHT NOW.

116
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,675
WE'RE TESTING SOME
    HIGHLY UNSTABLE...

117
00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:26,011
[GLASS BREAKS]

118
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:29,013
HAH! NO!
    YOU HAVE THE MIXTURE
        ALL WRONG!

119
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,081
[BOOM!]

120
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,283
[SCREAMING
    AND ALARM GOES OFF]

121
00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:49,600
[CLEARS THROAT]

122
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:52,636
THESE ARE MY PARENTS.
        I LOVE THEM WITH
        ALL MY HEART.

123
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,375
I MUST HAVE PUNCH NOW!

124
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,946
WHEN YOU WERE MY STUDENTS,

125
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,315
I SAID YOU'D AMOUNT
        TO NOTHING,

126
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:05,917
AND I WAS RIGHT.

127
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:08,219
YOU'RE<i> NOTHING!</i>

128
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,355
HELLO, ZIM.

129
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:12,390
DIB.

130
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:14,392
DAD, THERE'S SOMEBODY
        I WANT YOU TO MEET.

131
00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:17,361
THIS IS ZIM.
        YOU KNOW, THE ALIEN.

132
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,397
AND WHAT COUNTRY
            IS THE LITTLE GREEN
            BOY FROM?

133
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:21,232
YES, YES.
THAT'S FASCINATING.

134
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,103
[HEE HEH HEH]

135
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,675
SO, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

136
00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:34,379
MY MOM WON'T SHUT UP
        ABOUT ME!

137
00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:37,114
IT'S REALLY
        EMBARRASSING.

138
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,317
AT LEAST SHE'S NOT
SHOWING THE PICTURES.

139
00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:42,053
OOH, AND YOU JUST
            GOTTA SEE THESE
            PICTURES.

140
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,455
NOW, HERE'S BILLY
CRYING WHEN HE WAS

141
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,323
KICKED OFF
            THE SOCCER TEAM
            FOR CRYING TOO MUCH.

142
00:08:46,392 --> 00:08:47,392
HEE HEE HEE.

143
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:50,561
[BILLY CRIES]

144
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:54,031
GRASS STAINS SURE ARE
        TOUGH TO GET OUT OF
        THOSE SOCCER UNIFORMS.

145
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,333
SPORTS AREN'T
EVERYTHING.

146
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:59,570
I'M SURE YOUR BOY
WILL FIND SOMETHING
HE'S GOOD AT.

147
00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:01,106
THAT'S TRUE.

148
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,373
HEY!

149
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:04,108
TRY ONE OF
                THESE COOKIES.

150
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,109
MY WIFE MADE THEM.

151
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,011
THANKS, TED.

152
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,019
OH, NO.

153
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,153
HONEY, IS IT...?

154
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,489
YEP.

155
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,057
DIARRHEA!

156
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,629
I HAVE JUST
            THE THING FOR THAT!

157
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:33,237
WHO DOES YOUR HAIR?

158
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:38,843
AH! AH AH! OW!
            MY HEAD!

159
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,711
[SCREAMING]

160
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,914
MOM, I THINK
WE SHOULD GO HOME NOW.

161
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:45,884
DON'T TELL ME
        WHAT TO DO, YOUNG MAN.

162
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,118
YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM!

163
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:55,760
[GAZ SNICKERS]

164
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:04,869
HEY, IS YOUR DAD
                FEELING WELL?

165
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,737
YES, HE'S PERFECTLY FINE.

166
00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:19,317
AAAHHH!

167
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:21,886
[DIB CHUCKLES]

168
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,220
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

169
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:26,024
MY DAD LOST HIS ARM
    IN UH--THE WAR.

170
00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:27,992
THAT WAS
MY SQUEEZIN' ARM.

171
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:31,229
THEY TOOK
 MY SQUEEZING ARM!

172
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,298
WHY MY SQUEEZING ARM!

173
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:37,836
AAAAAARRRGH!

174
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,870
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
QUIT POKIN'
MY MOM'S HEAD!

175
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,515
LOOK, MOM,
    WE REALLY HAVE TO GO.

176
00:10:50,584 --> 00:10:52,484
PLEASE NOW, PLEASE!

177
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,419
HONEY, YOU'RE UPSET.

178
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:56,620
YES!, AND I WANT
    TO GO HOME.

179
00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:59,123
I KNOW WHAT'LL
            CHEER YOU UP.

180
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,036
LOOK, EVERYONE, LOOK!

181
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,236
[WOMAN CRYING]

182
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,405
CAN'T YOU SEE
            THAT THIS WOMAN
            IS SUFFERING

183
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,374
FROM SEVERE
            POKEY TRAUMA?

184
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:22,313
MOM, DAD! I THINK
I'VE BROKEN MY SPINE!

185
00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:27,251
MY SPINE. AAAAHHH!
[BREATHES HEAVILY]

186
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,588
AW, HONEY.
            I THINK IT'S TIME
            WE TOOK YOU HOME.

187
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:45,336
LEMME GUESS...

188
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:46,937
NOBODY SAW THAT, RIGHT?

189
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:55,413
HEY, THAT KID'S
                THROWING PUNCH!

190
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,017
[GROWLS]